Anxiety

My surgery is now less than a week away. Next Tuesday morning, I am scheduled for an exploratory gastrointestinal operation. I will find out the exact time next Monday.  I understand that the surgeons will be potentially performing a right hemicolectomy, removing my gallbladder, several large tumors, affected lymph nodes, and part of my small intestine.  I’m not used to having medical procedures where I do not know exactly what is going to happen, so this is causing me quite a lot of anxiety.  I’m concerned about long-term side effects of such a large surgery.  Nonetheless, I have been putting it off for quite a while now, and I am ready to do it, even though I am quite scared. 

I had my pre-op appointment last Friday and came out with a clean bill of health – all systems are go.

I’ve been listening to the mind-body relaxation techniques from the Peggy Huddleston book and CD’s.  They help me relax and refocus my state of mind more positively.  They also put me to sleep sometimes – I guess that’s a good thing because I need to keep myself healthy.

I’m also trying to stay away from too many people so I don’t catch anything before next week. 

Dr. Chan’s office gave me a prescription for Ativan. I have been having trouble sleeping with my anxiety about the surgery.  I have not taken it since we were in Boston last week.  I think just being in Boston reinforces my nervousness.  When I am home in New York, I’m usually pretty busy so I haven’t focused as much on next week. 

I have been speaking with a nurse from Aetna. This is a free service offered by my health care provider.  I’m not sure if it has been that helpful.  Yesterday, she told me that the doctor yet to submit my “case” to Aetna yet.  I didn’t understand exactly what that meant.  Aetna is a PPO, not an HMO, so I was not sure what needed to be done before the surgery.  I tried to get her to tell me how doctors typically submit a “case” but she did not know. The nurse stated that sometimes submissions come after the surgery.  This was all very confusing. I really don't know what, if anything, I should be doing with this information (or lack of it!) so I am not doing anything. 

I also emailed my disability case manager at my company to see if they received my FMLA form from Dr. Clancy’s office but she did not get back to me. What a surprise…hopefully, all is ok or perhaps someone would have told me there is a problem.

In spite of this bureaucratic complexity with the insurance companies, I am doing relatively well. I really can’t wait until this is over with.  I will try to have a family member post how I am doing after surgery and will follow up when I am well enough to type and think again.

Please think of me and send healing thoughts my way next Tuesday! 

The Big Wedding!

Saturday was my niece’s wedding!  It was a big fancy affair in Boston.  The weather was perfect and the bride and groom were very happy.  My brother (father of the bride) spent the whole last year trying to convince Erin to go to Las Vegas and elope and came up with a cheaper alternative to all of her wedding ideas. That was all to no avail as the wedding was in a beautiful location right on the Boston Harbor with all the accoutrements. 
 
Everything was excellent – the company, food and entertainment.  A good time was had by all.

When I started going to Dana Farber for my cancer care in January, I said to myself that if they said I needed surgery, I would have it because the people I have spoken with who are carcinoid patients from Dana Farber are not always recommended for surgery, as they are at some other places.  When they did recommend me for surgery last April, I said that I would like to hold off on that until after my niece’s wedding in August.  Both Drs. Chan and Clancy thought that I should do it sooner.   I needed to get myself comfortable with the concept of surgery and I wanted to be in good condition for Erin’s wedding so that I did not take any undue attention away from the bride by being sick Aunt Beth.  I also did not want to have surgery in the summer when a lot of medical personnel are new in their roles and/or on vacation.  Since I am asymptomatic, I figured it would be ok.  So far so good.  Today I came back to work and one of my coworkers asked me what I will be doing now that the wedding is over and I said focusing on my upcoming surgery – not quite as fun!

At the wedding, several people came up to me and started asking questions about my cancer.  These were people I did not know or knew only as acquaintances.  I was not really in the mood to talk about my cancer at the wedding.  I deferred the cancer talk and changed the subject.  Since I have a small family, they must have figured that I was the Aunt with cancer.   Ugh…

So, while Erin and John are honeymooning in Europe, I will start thinking about listening to those calming meditations about reframing my thoughts to a more positive place and positioning myself for surgical success.  My pre-op appointment is on September 6^th so that’s my next engagement before the surgery.  Here’s to keeping myself calm and serene in the upcoming weeks.

 

 

Three Year Cancerversary!

This month is my 3 year anniversary of being diagnosed with carcinoid cancer.  Since then, my tumors have not progressed at all.  I am still asymptomatic.  I believe my case is somewhat unusual because my primary tumor has not been found and I have one very large tumor that is hanging from my liver and in front of my right kidney.  This tumor measures 8x10x12 cm and is pressing on my small intestine, causing an indentation that can be clearly seen on a CT scan.  It is this tumor that could cause a bowel obstruction. I also have other tumors scattered around my abdomen and pelvis.

This large tumor gets the biggest reaction from doctors.  It is quite mobile and sometimes doctors can feel it and other times they can’t.  That’s kind of weird!  The general reaction is that they have not seen such a large tumor in that location before.  These tumors have been with me quite a while and I have no idea when they started or continued to grow.  I’m just happy that there has been no progression since my diagnosis. 

I re-read my post from last August writing about my second anniversary. I am amazed at how far I’ve come in the past year in terms of improving upon my medical care and getting clear and articulate answers to questions concerning my treatment.

Last August I was questioning everything about my treatment including why I was taking Sandostatin and the justification for a large surgery when I had no symptoms.  Now I have a whole new team working with me and it has been much better in terms of information flow.  I feel a lot less stressed about my care, even though I’m about to have a big surgery.

This week has been a busy one in my cancer life.  On Friday I had a CT scan, an appointment with Dr. Chan, a meeting with a nutritionist and then my Sandostatin shot.  Dr. Chan said my CT looks stable with no changes. 

I also met another carcinoid patient from the Carcinoid Café on Facebook.  We had been messaging each other for the past two weeks. She had an emergency appointment Friday at Dana Farber so we met in the radiology waiting area.  It was nice to meet in person.  Both her CT and mine came back stable with no growth in tumors.  Good for us!  On to year 4 for me.

Paying Until it Hurts and Medical Fantasies

The cost of medical care in the US is repeat theme in this blog, primarily because I find it outrageous.  I keep bringing it up because the New York Times is running a series on the cost of common procedures in the US. The most recent article is in the paper today and it caught my attention yet again.

The first article was on colonoscopies, the second on childbirth and today's on hip replacements.  The links to the articles are below:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/02/health/colonoscopies-explain-why-us-leads-the-world-in-health-expenditures.html?pagewanted=all

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/01/health/american-way-of-birth-costliest-in-the-world.html?pagewanted=all

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/04/health/for-medical-tourists-simple-math.html?pagewanted=all

The headline from today’s article concerns a Michael Shopenn who was turned down by his insurance company for a hip replacement due to a pre-existing condition. Mr. Shopenn started looking outside the United States for treatment. He found a hospital outside Brussels that charged only $13,660.  The cost in Belgium was about 6x less than in the US, where the typical charge is $78,000.

 

This got me thinking - this is purely my imagination running wild about how I might structure my cancer care if I had the ability and the means to do it.  My medical costs, outrage, business background and love of travel is fueling this fantasy.

My insurance covers between $2,500 and $8,500 for my monthly Sandostatin shots.  Let’s just say for example, that I could get a Sandostatin shot anywhere outside of the US for between $417 and $1,417 (the insurance coverage prices above divided by 6).    If I could get my insurance to pay half of what they are paying for the drug in the US ($1,250 - $4,250), I could find places to do my shots and  then pay for my airfare and hotel with the leftover funds.  I could also include my spouse in the cost but to be fair, we would pay for his travel expenses out of our own pockets. 

We could have great travels with trips all over the world while handling my cancer care.  Since I know that my shots are going to be every 28 days, I could book these trips well in advance to take advantage of early booking discounts.  It would be a win-win for both me and my company’s cost of insurance.  I probably don’t have enough vacation to do this for all 12 months but even if I did it for 6 months, the cost savings to my company would be substantial. 

Some places where I could surely get cheaper Sandostatin shots would be Switzerland, UK, France, Thailand, Belgium, Canada, India, Argentina and Australia, among others. I’m sure I could find some great things to see and do before or after my doctor appointments.

I’m guessing that most doctors in the US would not approve of a patient getting only half or none of the shots at their location.  They would not want to be responsible for anything that could happen when I got the shot elsewhere.  My company and their insurance carrier would never agree to this either.  Oh well, it was fun to think about.  Back to reality!

 

 

Disability Leave - Moving Toward September

I spoke with a person from our leave management department last week. I told her I am having surgery on September 16th.  She sent me a bunch of forms and a checklist of things to do prior to, during and after short-term disability leave.  She also explained that our company’s disability leave policy covers the following:

• Paid 100% of salary for the first 13 weeks on disability

• Paid 80% of salary for weeks 14 – 26 out on disability

• If I still need to be out after 26 weeks, my case will be reviewed by the insurance company that handles my company’s disability claims. If I were to go out on long term disability, my income would be 40% of salary.

The short-term disability leave is covered under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) that allows for 12 weeks of unpaid leave during any 12 month period.  Because disability leave is covered under FMLA, I will keep my health insurance while out on leave.  The FMLA leave runs concurrently with my company’s short-term disability policy. The short-term disability requirements are in addition to, and not instead of those for FMLA.  Because my leave will be taken continuously, not intermittently, I do not have to use up my vacation and sick days before I get paid by the company’s short-term disability policy. 

The completed forms that are required are:

• Request for Short-Term Disability Review.  I fill this out.

• Certification of Health Care Provider for Employee’s Serious Health Condition (FMLA).  My doctor completes this form.
• Return to Work Certification Form (not until I go back). My doctor also fills out this form.

I completed the first one and sent the second over to Dr. Clancy’s office. My company outsources its disability program to an insurance company. The letter I received from the leave management person stated that if my claim is approved by the insurance company, I will receive a telephone notification and an approval letter via mail.  This letter will outline the process and my responsibilities if my health care provider recommends an extension of my disability leave beyond the initial approval period.  I’m not sure what happens if my claim is not approved by the insurance company – the leave management person said that should not happen.

Wow! This seems highly paperwork-intensive!  The checklist they gave me seems quite thorough and now that I have an assigned medical leave person, I can always call with questions.  At least my company is making a complex process a bit easier by spelling everything out to me.  So far so good!

Meanwhile, we leased an apartment in Boston for part of September/October.  I have a place to recuperate. One more item off my to-do list.

Interesting Article on Clinical Trials

There is a thought-provoking article in the Sunday Review section of today’s New York Times titled “Do Clinical Trials Work?” The Sunday Review section is where the opinion and editorials are, not the news.  In addition, the author of the op-ed is Clifton Leaf, who just happens to have a book on this subject being released next week.  Even if you ignore the point of view in this article, the information on how clinical trials are designed and how phases 1, 2 and 3 are different is informative. It also defines placebo and double blind trials.  I thought it was interesting reading.  The link is below:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/14/opinion/sunday/do-clinical-trials-work.html?ref=opinion



Disclosure

Today I told my boss that I would be having a gastrointestinal surgery in September and would be out for around 6 weeks. I informed him that the surgery is scheduled for September 16^th and we should talk about who will be filling in on my accounts while I’m out.  He did not ask any questions and deferred any questions concerning backup. I did not bring up cancer and he did not seem to care about the purpose of the surgery. That was fine with me.   I asked him about the probability that I could get terminated while out on disability due to a reduction in force (RIF – see my last post).  He said that he would not do that because it would be “dickish” and he’s not like that.  Nonetheless, I told him that I was concerned about my long term viability at the company. I did not want to come back from surgery only to be RIF’d a few months later.  He said that if he thought that would happen, he would likely tell me to go ahead and stay out for long-term disability.   I asked who I could talk to about insurance/medical issues should I have to go out on long-term disability and he gave me the name of a contact in Human Resources. That person referred me to our employee service center.  I called the service center for “leave management” and got a recording stating that no one was there and to leave my information.  ‘Someone” would call back!  So much for customer service – they did not even allow me to stay on hold for 30 minutes!  No one has called me back yet – maybe tomorrow….

Overall, this meeting went better than expected – not sure what I was so nervous about.